Songs:Louise (127818)

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1 Trivia, story behind the song, etc.
2 Lyrics
3 Listener comments about Louise (127818)
4 Tags

Trivia, story behind the song, etc.

Louise Gillette:
Trapeze Dancer, Choreographer, Teacher, Writer, Traveler, Inspirer

3rd brain surgery scheduled for June 19th, 2008 - please send her good vibes!

Louise with Bunny

How I met Louise
The "Louise" in my song is a real person. Fortunately, as I write this, a real living person. I met her in Philly in 1993. I was trying to deal with some ankle problems I'd developed during my 1991 Appalachian Trail Thru-Hike, and Louise Gillette was recommended to me as a Pilates instructor. That was well before Pilates became trendy. I was just back from teaching English in Japan for 2 years, so I treated myself to private instruction several times a week for a few months. (I really wanted to be able to go backpacking again!)

photo by Vincent A. Salandra Pilates, by the way, is a program of stretching and core-strengthening combined with breathing, done with extreme precision and fluidity, developed for dancers. Fittingly, Louise was a modern dancer who was working on her masters degree in Fine Arts from Temple University. She had originally come to Pilates to overcome a debilitating neck injury. It worked astonishingly well. Inspired, she went through rigorous training to teach it to others. And she was a great teacher - one of the best I've ever had in any field. She was clear, confident, encouraging, and kicked my butt in a good way. I ended up the strongest I'd ever been in my life. And I did successfully go backpacking shortly afterwards - several times. Thank you, Louise!

When I showed up for my first consultation, lamenting the injuries that had forced me to end my Appalachian Trail Thru-hike, Louise exclaimed, "Oh! I've always wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail! Tell me all about it!" We found out we shared a love of the woods and hiking, that she was also a songwriter with similar musical tastes, and that we were the same age. We got together for walks outside the Pilates studio and developed a wonderful laughter-filled friendship.

Louise was, to me, the epitome of health. Lean and strong and energetic and beautiful. She lent that health to many others, through teaching dance, Pilates, and then becoming a massage therapist, too.

Photo of Trapezius from Citypaper.net 9-25-97 A Dancer On Trapeze
While I was spending time with her, she became very excited about an unusual form of dance: she began to choreograph dances that utilized the flying trapeze, and started her own dance company in Philadelphia: Trapezius Aerial Dance Company. They performed regularly to rave reviews. (Click here to read a few past articles and reviews.) I saw several shows and I have got say - it was cooler than cool. The performances were entrancing, and Louise often incorporated thought-provoking social messages in her works. During this time, she lived in an upper level apartment in an old warehouse where she was able to rig up a trapeze to the rafters for practices.

So maybe you're thinking that Louise sounds like a talented and creative over-achiever. Yes, indeed! What a shock and dismay it was to hear from her in 1998, while I was living my first year in Alaska, that she had had a sudden grand mal seizure and had subsequently been diagnosed with brain cancer.

Dealing With A Brain Tumor
Here's the thing. Louise' brain tumor is located in the part of the brain responsible for communication. She learned that if doctors were to surgically remove it, there was a good chance she'd lose the ability to communicate - no speaking, reading or writing - no words. How hauntingly frightening. She wrote several letters to me about how she felt - and was open and frank about it all. She took stock of her life - as any young person faced with terminal illness would - and said she had a strong desire to simplify, to visit beautiful places, to spend time closer to nature, and to keep expressing her creativity through dance. She talked about how some friends were so freaked out by her condition that after initial support, they shrunk away. She talked about how essentially alone she felt. She talked of her new financial struggles. She did a lot of her own research and learned that whether or not a person with her type of tumor received radiation/chemo, the expected life span was 10 years or less. Her friends and colleagues were moved and two Philadelphia organizations held benefits (see story) to help her keep Trapezius Aerial Dance Company alive.

There were more dramatic seizures over time, and Louise had to have 2 different surgeries to remove part of the tumor. Surgeons were careful not to cut into the active brain tissue, so they had to leave a significant amount Photo By Vincent A. Salandra of the tumor each time. Although Louise has gradually lost some of her language stability and has had some other strange brain-function symptoms, she has been able to lead a rich, varied and thoughtful life. The most tragic result was the decision to dismantle Trapezius after seizures on several performance nights. On the positive side, she has spent time traveling (including a trip to Hawaii with moi!), living in the Vermont woods, writing, and blogging (sorry - not public). She deliberately chose NOT to have chemo or radiation, believing that path would reduce the quality of her life more than going without. She pursued alternate healing methods, with an emphasis on a raw foods diet.

Onwards into the Next Ten Years
Louise has had to slow down a lot over these years. Her friends joke with her that she's just now coming down to our level of energy. However, one serious consequence has been a reduced ability to earn a living. Every time she tries to increase her work schedule (intermittently teaching dance, Pilates, doing some massage), the resultant fatigue seems to bring on increased seizures. It got to a point about a year ago where Louise felt pretty discouraged. After an inspiring trip to the Hippocrates Health Institute in Florida in spring of 2007, she summoned up another great big wind, and decided to - get this - go back to school for advanced massage therapy degrees. She figured that massage is a line of work not requiring a lot of talking, so she'd be less fatigued. The school to which she applied was so impressed with her story, they gave her a full tuition scholarship, and she plunged in full-time studying both massage and yoga. Damn! All those biology terms - the muscles, the bones! It has not been easy; school is fatiguing for all of us, and she has had to deal with a significant increase in seizures and increasing trouble with word-finding throughout this year. And she has stuck it out. What a trooper! What an inspiration...

Louise on trapeze in Florida, spring 2007 It seems that her treatment decisions to avoid radiation/chemo were good ones. On February 7th of this year, Louise posted a blog entry on the eve of 10 years since her first seizure, jokingly wondering if she should bother doing her homework. Then happily on February 8th, she got together with some friends to celebrate 10 years and made a toast to the next 10 years. I love the happy look of relief on the faces of my audiences when I tell them this after I've sung the song...

Can I Help Louise?
The tumor has once again grown back to fill the cavity left behind by previous surgeries. Louise's doctors have insisted it's time for a 3rd operation. She will finish up her massage and yoga certification, then will travel to New York for brain surgery on June 19th. So many people have been moved by her song and her story. I never realized how it would touch others so deeply. I've decided to post a Paypal donation button here, below. I'm not going to make a big deal of it, but if someone with spare cash comes along who is moved to help out financially - this is a way to do so. I know with 100% certainty that Louise would vastly appreciate it and would use it well. Money from two past benefits held in 1999 allowed her not only to pay rent for the Trapezius studio and produce trapeze performances, but also created opportunities to attend raw food events, schools & restful vacations (which included teaching yoga to other cancer survivors & raw foodists, & working in the raw food kitchens), and to drive around the U.S. so that she could finally see the remaining places she'd always wanted to go while she was still allowed to drive (including Niagara Falls, the Grand Canyon & New Orleans.) Your monetary contribution could help with similar pursuits, as well as blatant practical matters like paying the rent while resting and healing from surgery.

Feel free to include a message with your financial gift. All will be delivered to Louise promptly. (If you would prefer to send a check, please email me.)

Please go to this page to donate

Thanks for listening to the song Louise and for being interested in the true story of this amazing woman...

Changing the oil with a smile...

Lyrics

In the end if I should know the green that springtime grows,
The sheen of moon on snow, the trees auburn and yellow,
I would have lived a good life, oh a good life

And in the end if I have found that straight things can be round,
The music in all sound, the feel of fertile ground,
I would have lived a good life, oh a good life

Louise she's a dancer on trapeze / You should see her, she flies with ease
Her long brown hair, swingin' though the air
She has her own dance company / Yeach, the critics love her
strangely now, she doesn't care

I got some news back in July / We were all surpised, they said
She's got a tumor in her head / She was only 31, the same age
So much doin' to be done / Oh Louise you got me thinking

She has a short time to live well / I asked her what she wanted
"Learn more dances" she said / "And maybe simplify my life,
So I'll be ready / All this stuff I own is meaningless"

The doctors say that when they're done
It's possible that she'll be mute or blind / It depends on what they find
Conversation might be gone, no comprehension
Take my life, don't take my mind / Oh Louise, you got me thinking

Philadephia's so far / I can't just hop there in my car
I don't know what to do / Send a letter write a song
It all seems trivial and wrong / I guess she's alone...me too...
Louise, you got me thinking

And in the end if I have found that straight things can be round,
The music in all sound, the feel of fertile ground,
I would have lived a good life, oh a good life